The “Change Me” Prayer

I’ve always heard about it – in church, in counseling, in conversations I’ve eavesdropped on in coffee shops.

You never try to change people in your relationships. You can only change you.

Oh, how changing yourself is hard.

A few weeks ago, I finished reading Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, a book I should have finished reading the moment it came off the printing press. And whether you’re married or single, read it. Another good book? Fully Alive by Dr. Larry Crabb. Talk about two wonderful books on relationships and gender. Anyway, I digress. (But really, pick them up.)

The ending reinforced the truth of loving someone (in the case of Love & Respect, loving one’s spouse) out of obedience to God first and foremost. Nothing new, but always a good reminder. But deep inside my spirit, an inspiration to actually change something emerged…

Change me.

Whenever I feel that first notion of being offended, irritated, or the need to be right…“Lord, change me.”

Whenever I feel like I want to choose the worst instead of the best…“Lord, change me.”

Whenever I feel like I want to worry and not trust…“Lord, change me.”

Will this one small prayer in many moments over many days change me? How? And I’m not putting permanent parameters on it, but let’s just say for a year, I’ve made an intentional commitment of praying this prayer and weekly journaling how my heart is changing.

Because certainly God will change it, right?

Lord, change me…

Married or not, would anyone like to join me in committing to this for the next year?


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37 thoughts on “The “Change Me” Prayer

  1. Yes, I will pray for God to change me. This comes at a perfect time when my prayer requests and burdens are many. I will trust Him through it all.

  2. Some thoughts, in response to this and to “Permission to Speak Freely” :
    I knew on my wedding day that my soon-to-be husband and I had serious problems and we would probably end in divorce, sooner rather than later. But I kept walking down that aisle, even though so many things screamed at me to stop, because I was too ashamed to explain why a good, healthy Christian girl with so much promise was no longer a virgin. I was not worthy of the white dress. I hoped that marrying the boy who used guilt and pressured and manipulated me into having sex with him would somehow fix things, like marriage could be a Band-Aid. But it didn’t work; nothing worked. Everything failed. Everything was empty. I was starving. I started cutting myself to let the pain out, and to punish myself for not being good enough for him. After a year of hell, of abuse and pain and adultery and fear and isolation and silence and his systematic methods of destroying my individuality, I left him. It was the best and the toughest decision I have ever made.
    And now I am aghast at the amount of pain and fear that is carried in silence by all of us. Who else is hurting? And why don’t we talk about our sin? We are all sinful. I tried to hide mine for almost three years, and it nearly killed me. I would love to see people cry out to God and be healed. I am free now; I’ve tasted grace. And now I want to share it.
    God is coming for a pure bride. But I had no white dress; my rags were torn and dirty and bloody and couldn’t even cover my shame. Then God gave me a white dress, stainless, and told me I was made to dance in white dresses. What can we do to make the church like this gift?
    I don’t know what telling this story will do, or if it will help. But if it helps only one other person get out of hell like I did, it will be worth it.

  3. I am single, but I’m in on the challenge. I’m sure my friendships and other relationships will be greatly benefited and my life will glorify the Lord. I’ve asked God to change me, but I will make this a daily prayer.